This article is based on memories and subconscious mind, by nature its writing is not as smooth as a professional writer. Expecting readers to forgive me and consider this as a memoir written by inspiration of memory....
My childhood…
Originating from the Sóc Trăng town in the warmth of the family of ten brothers and sisters, I am the second son of the family which is often called “anh ba”.
My father was very smart, hardworking, mature and generous. He went to French military service for a while then he retired from those military services and then pursued vocational career as a mechanic. He was a hard worker and a role model student, got respect from his colleagues and his teacher. During his young career my father has trained and formed hundreds or more students afterwards. Most of them were very successful in their career and very grateful to my father's teaching.
My father was considered as a pillar of the family who sacrificed his life for children’s future and his family’s happiness. My mother was gentle and not afraid of hard work and often helped my father. Moreover she took care of her children as preparing meals and taking care of our well being..
My father was a simple, kind man with a lot of humors…Despite living in the war, the social foundation was based on the family of Southern region ... In the family my father was the chief pillar, children were always obedient and obeyed his decision. I remembered before going to school, I had to fold hands and said to my parents "Dad and mom we are leaving”. In the afternoon we arrived home and also said "Dad and mom we are home”, my father said "respect the elder for every act”. I dare not inspire the old way of education as such. It has advantages but also its shortcomings. Having lived in Western society I realized that Vietnamese children are too shy when meeting with older people...
When the first three brothers were born, we had already witnessed miserable life when the home debtor ordered people to destroy our own house. We had no place to hide except in tractors parked in the driveway as a temporary lodging before finding a new house. It was difficult time that we saw, my father told us "I was born as a worker but you have to work harder in order to have a better life”. In 1965, after five months of arduous labor my father had a small garage in Tự Đức street. A few years later in 1970 he then also bought another garage in Lê Lợi street, the former place of ancestor.
Every evening after a long hard working day my father would sit down and enjoy good time with the children. Our three brothers who sat around my dad would provide massage to my father. Nowadays I tell that story to my own son and he replied that “the grandfather was so lucky to have that service”.
I went to Elementary school “Nam Tỉnh Lỵ” in 1962. The school was big enough but had a lot of light in the classrooms. At that time we walked to school and the streets were not crowded with scooters as it is today. Before arriving to school, we had to cross the Bạch Đằng Yard of the City, before Girl school “Nữ Tỉnh Lỵ” where there were big trees which provided shades to lovers and barren with time. I remember every Monday morning we had to stand in front of the flag and sing the national anthem. We had learned the first lessons of civil right education. Now we understand why the elders said that we have to teach children still at an early age or bending trees at a very young trunk. Children listened to teachers as “golden mold size or pearl rule” ... We also learned by heart the verses to respect our parents “the father is like a mountain and our mother considered as water sources for life”. The maxim remained in the subconscious mind…
At the end of primary school we had to write an admission test to get to the public high school Hoàng Diệu, and those who failed the test would go to private schools such as Trần Văn, Lam Sơn, Tố Như, Bồ Đề, Lasan Khánh Hưng or Phụ Huynh Học Sinh, etc. .... The age in elementary school was mainly the time for playing and enjoying childhood, and also the time to disturb neighborhoods. We formed a group of several children of the same neighborhood district to fight other neighbors. We lived in Quang Trung street and at the street end people often called the elephant head “dau voi”. We did not see any elephant at that time why neighbours used to call it the elephant head...
After completing Elementary school, I failed the admission exam the first time in 1966 and I had pursued my study in Trần Văn private school.
We have to admit that private school had a lot of good teachers at that time. However those private schools lacked of disciplines and focused more on the commercial aspects - to pay the tuition fees rather than to focus on the student absenteeism or student achievement records. Therefore public schools at that time attracted more parents. Looking back at the private education in South VietNam in the past was less fortunate than other one of developed countries now. The private schools are founded by the publics - even at university level - in developed countries are now very popular and more recognized than public schools. Especially we are in the era of capitalism or "money talks" today.
Anyway the private education at that time was also very useful as Tran Van school trained many famous students of Soc Trang such as Le Vu Hung, a former deputy minister of education or a Diệp Kinh Tần, Vice Minister of Agriculture Industry, etc. In addition, private schools are also a place to provide supplementary or preparatory courses, summer courses – Math, Physics and Chemistry, English and French, etc. These courses helped many students to review the subjects and practice for public school students. Most public school students were undergoing training or summer courses in those private schools. There were also so many excellent teachers originated from these institutions.
Then the following year in 1967 I continued to study at Hoang Dieu. Mr Phan Ngọc Răng was the Principal at that time and replaced by Mr Lê Xuân Vịnh when I went up to the grade 7, class 7P2. At the time in Sóc Trăng there was only one public high school, therefore male and female students went to the same school but not the same class.
Early in 1965 American troops invaded Vietnam. War as well as inflation rate escaladed terribly. The bar business was booming and some appeared like “Quên Đi” and Thanh Hương as a result of U.S. troops presence in Vietnam. The green dollar has destroyed the lives of many women. Most of the girls who wanted to get married to an American for their dollars were dancers in the bars.
War increasingly escalated and political turmoil also boomed. Buddhist went to streets fought against government oppression. Policemen were lined with grenade watched manifested students. Secret daily newspapers badly criticized religious discrimination policy of current government . Looking around the neighborhoods and in every household there were always relatives going to military service and death toll mounted/went higher...
We lived in the family with all five brothers and five girls who went to Hoàng Diệu School, we had therefore a lot of memories in that school – good as well as bad. I also remember many peaceful memories of long years in this beloved school.
In 1966 I was in the grade 6, the black and white TV just appeared for the first time but the program was broadcasted only in the evening from 7 pm to 11 pm. I remember every night the neighbors gathered in front of our house to watch amateur performance “tuồng cai luong” or “6 cau vong co” of a famous legend...
We were amazed of the first time in high school, grade 6P2 (French is foreign language). Each year there were two exams - the first and second quarters. Everything like methodology was new: every subject managed by its own teacher, the score was out of 20...The examination was mentored by its own professor and not necessarily the same test subject of another class. Thus the level of understanding and knowledge was different among classes. In class, Dương Kim Hùng who was our class leader had white skin and performed well in school. I recalled the first day of classes of grade 6P2 (in 1967s school year there were only two classes in French and two class of English, one for boys and other for girls) I had hair crab and looked weird and strange. We were not familiar with new subjects, new teachers and new classmates.
In secondary school every teacher was teaching one subject; each subject was taught depending on the professor’s style, his sympathy and teaching method.
Although we were new comers to high school and we were considered as a third class citizen. Therefore we had used all the tricky game against teachers or even invented nick name for teachers with particular traits….
At that time the press had pretty much appeared as Chính Luận, Tin Sáng, Ánh Nắng, Dân Tộc, etc…But almost every day we were hearing news about the war results, about soldiers commemoration and military mobilization service ... I would love to read young magazines like Tuoi Hoa in those days with the series of detective, teenager’s love and romantic love, stories of the authors of Tự Lực Văn Đoàn’s group…
An early morning in 1968 we had heard a lot of firecrackers in the city. Then we learned afterwards that Soc Trang was attacked by North Vietnamese army by surprise. We were scared... The automatic gun shots and rocket’s hard noise lasted several days. Then the Soc Trang’s life was back to normal...
Highways and bridges on the national highway 1 there were land mined everywhere...Every morning local soldiers performed routine task of clearing land mine for traffic. Sometimes land mines exploded on highway or bridges and several death and traffic jams were reported…
My time in high school had marked important events due to tough war. For male students of the age 16-17 they were trying to transfer to new Agriculture school in order to be exempted the military service. I had also fallen to this category in the “Fiery Red summer 72 when the mobilization order was issued...
I remember the end of every year to receive prizes for excellent students. I did not rank first in classes but received reward every year. I noticed the excellent student that I still admire today as – Trần Văn On (66-73), Triệu Minh Hùng (64-71), Lưu Kim Yến, Trần Thanh Bé, Cao Chiếu Trí, Đường Minh Hoàng (TV65-72) and Nguyễn Ngọc Hồng (65-72). Those excellent students ranked the best in Hoàng Diệu and most of teachers recognized them.
As 4-year in school and peaceful days passed by ...I reached the grade 10 or class 10B1 in 1971, it was the beginning of the mix class of boys and girls. Male and female interaction at that time was very limited. If someone liked a particular girl, he would just watch from a distance and if the boy was brave enough he just wrote a piece of paper and put in the girl’s drawer to express his love ... But sometimes a message written several times was never sent ... Also at this grade boys were considered as strong who could break buffalo horns and that the elder person called them the starting age looking for new lover who learned to make-up, to get dress beautifully…. That why we started seeing young man waiting for girls at the gate at the end of classes.
I grew up and reached the age of adulthood at the grade 10, the beautiful age for romance. Unfortunately I could not fully live the adulthood. My parents told me “you have to leave all personal life behind and start thinking of your future by working hard in school to succeed well”.
Then growing up to seventeen, age of love seeking, I had to leave the youth behind in the Fiery Red summer 1972 in order to prepare my future, even my girlfriend…my parents and brothers and sisters. My father said, "Try to work hard and your future will be rewarded and happy." My youngest brother was born only a few months before.
In the life of every man, we go through many ups and downs. In my perspective, the five-year period in Hoàng Diệu’s high school was a lot memories, good and bad with friends were the most enjoyable moments that I have ever had.
Several years have gone and sometimes the past memory comes up in mind, I would like to write down all events that marked my life. However due to old age we can not recall all image details of the youth, we therefore enjoy dreaming the youth’s life as a child. Thank to teachers and friends who had provided me with my happy or sad moments in shool which I would like to go back and live those moments, if I ever get a chance.
Then I left Hoàng Diệu High School in the Fiery Red Summer 72 after mobilization order was issued for all male students born before 1955 at the class of 10B1.
Most of students of this class also jointed the military service as per the new national order. Some of us, including myself preferred to choose other alternative of not going to serve in the military service. I had 2 months to prepare for the National Baccalaureate Part 1 examination, the last one in VietNam and it was abandoned later. I passed this Baccalaureate with score “Very Good”. Then I applied to Lasalle Taberd Saigon with the help of my Mathematic professor Phan Văn Nhiều of Hoàng Diệu at that time and the rector of Lasan Khánh-Hưng – brother Gabriel Nguyễn Đăng Quang. I started the class 12B2 at this school and wrote Baccalaureate Part 2 in summer 1973 with score “Good” and an excellent mark of French course 15/20 which exceeded largely the requirement of Ministry of Education to pursue study abroad.
Students from the famous school in Saigon those days, had a lot of motivation to study very hard. They all wanted to go abroad to attend their universities as there were many scholarships granted for high achieving students passing Baccalaureate II.
I thought that people who are born have the same level of intelligence. When they reach adulthood if there is a difference in talent and success due to the circumstances and competitive environment where they live and absorb education and learning experience in life.
Before packing and preparing luggage for Canada, I applied and passed the entrance examination for Saigon High Technology University. I hesitated between taking an adventure by going to Canada or a peaceful life in Vietnam with a girlfriend waiting for me in hometown Soctrang. My parents tried to convince me going abroad because there would be no hope for me to get advanced career with diploma earned in VietNam since my family did not have a strong position and privilege in this society. Therefore my parents tried to provide minimal funds for me to leave Viet Nam in November 1973, and I assumed the rest of my life in Canada…It was the beginning of my independent life…
Indenpendant Life…
In the early years I had set foot in Canada in December 1973, I had to work part-time to cover all expenses of my studies, such as dishwasher or waiter for a restaurant, to pick tobacco in the farm in the summer with a lot of shame and bitterness that a foreign student like me had to face. The self-sufficient and independent life from preparing meals to learning, so I had to save every bit of money in order to get sufficient funds for tuition fees. I even had to borrow every used book from older students for my study. With life-saving experience had taught me the lesson of appreciation of the green dollars in the most difficult circumstances. I now look back that situation and wonder how I could go through such a miserable life at the young age in Canada... while other compatriot students who mostly arrived from Saigon enjoyed economic situation during their studies overseas. They did not have to worry about financial hardship and did not suffer such a miserable life as I had endured. At the end I learned a valuable life lesson about patience and endurance through this difficult challenge in school and well succeeded.
Early summer 1974 I and two other friends – Vũ a former Petrus Ký and Ngọc a former Phan Thanh Giản high school were off to Windsor, Ontario to find a job of picking tobacco in the farm, because four months of doing this job could provide enough money to cover my cost of living for the whole year. Therefore many people from Europe and South America came here to compete with us. Thus there was too much competition among different nationalities to get one of the highest pay in summer. In first night everybody slept temporarily in the public park or under the overpasses. People laid down everywhere and the park was crowded with sleeping bags...In the second night police came chasing us out of the park due to aesthetic and hygienic issues for the city. We explained to the police officer our situation and would like to find a job for our studies and asked them where we could find the cheapest hotel in the city during job searching. They thought a while then told us that the lowest rate was around 30$ a night. We insisted that it was still too expensive for poor students like us. Then we ask them where we could get a place cheaper than that. The police officer took a few seconds and then suggested us to come down to police detention center to pass overnight with 1 condition - tell them time we arrived and the time we liked to get out. No check out was allowed in the detention during the fixed time. ..
So that we have an opportunity to sleep "temporarily in police detention center" for a night in Canada ... It was a lifetime experience to remember a miserable life of a poor student in a foreign country.
In University I felt the competition tougher/fiercer because of the presence of other foreign students from other countries such as Chinese, French, American, Spanish, Italian, Philippine, Japanese, Egyptian, Lebanese, South American, African, etc… Since my mother tongue was neither English nor French my studies were more or less affected while other French program students of Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Marie-Curie and Fraternité enjoyed and succeeded well their studies.
In April 1975 I was in the third year of engineering. I volunteered for Canadian Immigration to help and to receive the first Vietnamese refugees arriving Canada by airborne with a little hope to greet my parents even my girlfriend. Days and month passed by and I had received no news from my parents, neither girlfriend…I was disappointed…However among the first wave of refugees who came to Canada after the Fall of VietNam, I met a new girlfriend originated from Saigon, and then she then became my spouse later on…
The first wave of refugees arriving Canada by air who were mostly people of northern origin, high-ranking officers form Republic of VietNam or rich families.
I met Colonel Nguyễn Văn Hưởng chief-pilot from Bình Thủy aviation base, lieutenant-colonel Trần Nhật Thăng pilot from Biên Hòa aviation base, Major Vũ Tất Thắng trainer of aviation school in Nha Trang and lieutenant-captain Đinh Vũ. They looked at me and asked “are you actor Nguyễn Chánh Tín or his brother?”. I replied “you are all wrong I am not his brother neither Nguyễn Chánh Tín actor but my name is Phuc and I came from Southern Soc Trang town”. I got acquainted with them then. I invited them to share apartment with me, a poorest student among other Vietnamese abroad…
During the last two years in university and living with these high-ranking pilots I had learned a lot of new life – regrouping and drinking on the week ends with others fellows. They often cited their beautiful pilot experience with aerial battle against enemies with very high chance of death or to show off in the air when they saw girls walking on the ground…Through them I got acquainted a lot more former pilot officers as well as naval officers. Through Hung, a former navy lieutenant I knewn female singer Hà-Thanh who married Dr Kim, Hùng’s brother….One of the three pilot officers was a nephew of Mr. Nguyễn Tấn Đời. Therefore we had a chance to see and speak with him privately in his restaurant Kobé situated in Montréal in 1976-1977.
I remember the crook affair of the Tín Nghĩa Ngân Hàng Bank with Mr. Nguyễn Tấn Đời who scammed and took money of lenders and transferred them abroad for his children and he was finally put in jail by the current President of Viet Nam – Nguyễn Văn Thiệu. Later on in 1976-77 I met him in Montreal in his restaurant Kobé. I had a chance to chat with him and understood how smart he was and how he made money so easily. For example in one night on a week end we came to his buffet restaurant in Montreal. He greeted us and explained the menu: “please make yourselves at home; there is a lot of good soup to start…” I thought a while”why I have to eat a lot of soup and will have no room for wonderful wrapped shrimp which are the most expensive plate among others”. He was so smart. Another time we visited his place in private with one pilot-officer who was also his nephew. We witnessed he was yelling at one of his employee because he just lost a pencil in his office. He said “those who steal my pencil will steal more money from me later on and in the future he will steal my entire business…..” I had very awful feeling about his stinginess…
On a Saturday morning in 1977 I got a phone with a quite familiar voice:
“hello is it Phuc”
“yes can I know who is speaking”
“your former teacher here, Mr Nguyễn Thái Lân…” I could not wait for a long conversation and quickly asked his address. I drove to his place and had a short lunch with him and his spouse. He told me that he and his family have already arrived Canada more than a year and now he is teaching in a high school in Montréal. He expressed his disappointment in teaching high school students in Canada, because the students here did not show any respect toward teachers. The relationship was not the same as the one in Hoàng Diệu. He had appreciated and cherished his former students, at least we showed him a lot of respect particularly in a second country like Canada. His affection was missing…He mentioned that he might quit his job very soon and would move to Toronto and sell life insurance in 1979. Prof. Lân and his spouse also came to my wedding’s reception in 1978. In 1989 he took a trip to Paris to greet former English teacher Ngo trong Binh. He and his spouse were very sick at that time, according to teacher Binh last year.
Few years ago some of our Hoang Dieu fellows in Toronto read the Obituary in local Toronto newspapers about teacher Michael Nguyen Thai Lan. They were not quite sure that was our teacher because of nick name Michael preceding his former name. Anyway the writer does not intend to explore the sad new to all former Hoang Dieu students…
After 4 year of engineering school, I finally obtained the engineering degree and started working in different companies – aircraft, cement manufacturing and telecom. Since I grew up in a small town and in an average family, I always dreamed to get a much better life for my family and for my country, I decided afterwards to pursue the Master of Business Administration while working full time. I obtained finally an MBA degree in Finance and pursued again the Master of Mechanical Engineering. With a lonely life and no relatives in this country, I decided to get married shortly after engineering graduation.
Several years have gone by in this foreign land and I get used to the new life in Canada and became familiar with all Canadian cool climate and new culture. All activities were also confined to certain areas, not like in California with warm weather year round, the land of opportunity where fellow of Hoang Dieu might organize home coming event with a lot of participation around the world. Those fellows have opportunity to greet former teachers and students from Hoang Dieu and having a good time together in these parties. What a sad life in Canada…
The peaceful life with my own family encouraged me to volunteer for Vietnamese communities in Montreal from 1994 to 2005. I taught Vietnamese language to Vietnamese kids for Liên Hoa Buddhism association, Boy Scout – Montreal chapter and as assistant-coach for Brossard Soccer Association. Those volunteering works brought me a lot of anxieties as well as pleasures. For example I saw some time an adult in the supermarket or in the metro who greeted me with respect “good morning teacher Nguyễn”. They were my former students, years ago…Those gestures made me happier and prouder for myself…
Teaching Experience in Canada…
In the discussion and exchange of teaching experience, our school principal of Lien Hoa’s temple in Brossard Mrs Bích mentioned that: "Regarding the Vietnamese language, teachers have no issues. However our children were born in Canada, the United States or France, and they are citizens of these countries, then the Vietnamese language has become a foreign language for those students. Therefore, the teacher should be able to speak English and French first and then the capability of teaching.
From 1990 to 1995, although Liên Hoa’s temple opened only six classes for about 100 children of ages from 7 to 20 years old, we could test student for the placement of the children in the most appropriate level regardless the age of the children. After a few trials the teacher might judge the level of students, appropriate or not they might recommend to the Office of Administration to transfer the child to a higher or lower grade. She also added that the high level or low depends on the time children start learning Vietnamese language, not just based on the age of the children only.
While discussing about the methodology making the class successful and appealing the students, the ambience became vibrant with the active participation. The students often said that teachers always have to have "the back-up activities, with about half an hour for free activities, especially in the holidays". We would like to talk about educational game... In addition, teachers should congratulate and reward good students. This will evoke discussion in classroom. Therefore my class was always lively active, and most children did 'homework' weekly.
In addition, I think the important characteristic of teachers is to be active in the lecture and explanation. In the classroom, the teacher should avoid speaking alone, but evoke/encourage discussion and participation of students, raise questions with hinted answers, congratulate or reward them for good results ...
Teacher should read the phrase with right pronunciation, from different accents, to distinguish between s and x, between tr and ch, the r and g... When reading the description, we should try to forget the local origin North - South-Central but concentrate on their own to read properly so that help students write properly. So, we avoid confusion for the students while writing, because we must admit that spelling is a very difficult subject for children who are born and raised abroad.
Besides reading correctly, the teachers have to read clearly. Because reading means expressing an idea and words, how to make students feel the value of all text. Teacher needs to read clearly and slowly and try to attract attention and love from the first minute of texts. According to my thought, a good teacher who taught and expressed with a smile, should use his eyes to look at students with emotional feeling, love to hate and with gestures, gestures again. Keep in mind the children were not interested in learning language in a hot weather and they might feel boring. Don’t try to stuff the students with material that they do not like and pay attention, the ambience became heavier.
In addition, teachers having with excellent characters such as integration, sympathy, humors and have the ability to turn a tedious classroom into an enjoyable atmosphere. That is the art of teaching. Therefore, teachers need to pay attention to words used, reading style, expressive look and outfit ... Once teacher is interested by students and the children will look forward going to school, and will be ready to obey teachers.
Life in Canada….
The busy life in Canada with a small family makes me disconnect with the former comrades of Hoàng Diệu.
Recently with the help of one of my friends in SocTrang, Bùi- Ngọc Thạch when I went back to VN in the occasion of my father death, I fortunately got a list of all former students of Hoang-Dieu then the souvenirs came back. I found also an Achievement Year Book (Palmares) of Lasalle Taberd showing all activities during school year 72-73. It had also shown honored students and pictures of everything from students to professors, picnic and musical activities, graduation ceremony, school facilities, etc…After reading the book, I felt sad for my former Hoàng Diệu school in a small town of SocTrang where the tradition is not well established yet. It might take some time to catch up with those famous High Schools in Saigon despite having a lot of efforts done by Hoang-Dieu staffs to create a new magazine of Hoàng Diệu with one page honoring former Hoàng Diệu students.
Despite leaving 40 years from Hoàng Diệu, the competition spirit among comrade is still unforgettable in my memory. Life changed with time, up and down, rich and poor but my minds are still with the old school where my youth was alive. How can we forget the time spent on musical course with professor Thiên and Fine Arts with professor Thế. The most enjoyable time was the quick tests of Mathematics and Physics in class. Those new young professors - Thiếp, Nhiều and Lân accepted new challenges for teaching posts in a small town like SocTrang instead of enjoying teaching in a vibrant and bustling city like Saigon. It is impossible to forget the philosophical teaching from professor Nguyễn Tư Thiếp. Students often asked professor Thiếp what it means Tư Thiếp and one student answered without hesitation that Tư Thiếp means "private wife". That student got bad comments from professor Thiếp. The philosophical lessons learned from Professor Thiếp taught me a lot of analytical senses in Canada. The trio of professors - Thiếp, Nhiều and Lân walked along main streets of SocTrang every evening in order to relax themselves after spending long hours with students during the day. Apart from those activities they had nothing to do in a town like SocTrang. Professor Nguyễn Thái Lân taught student how to learn and practice Yoga during lag time in class. Some annoying students attached the lower part of professor Yến’s robe to the table when she walked down to the student table to explain French lessons. Professor Ngô Trọng Bình, who taught English had a build up body of an American in VietNam.
The spring time in Montreal has arrived and with the reception of some emails for my birthday from comrades located around the world reminded me of all these souvenirs and brought me back to the time of 1972. It also provides me a source of inspiration to write down these words.
I went to my town recently and visited the new Hoàng Diệu school which is much different from 38 years ago. It also reminded me the flamboyant tree (Phuong-Vy) in a corner of the backyard of school that grew a lot of red flowers when time changed from spring to summer.
Reminding me also of all those professors who tirelessly taught students how to learn life lessons and prepared them for a brighter future.
Some of those professors and former comrades unfortunately passed away and the rest of us are getting older.
Those former students despite the fact they are living in all corners of the world will never forget their old Hoàng Diệu school. You will make your professors proud of you, so does the Hoàng Diệu High School.
Through this writing, we would like to thank all Hoang-Dieu professors who provided me with an excellent educational journey for life. Our ultimate goal is to encourage students of new generation to learn from our experience in order to get a better life as their brothers and sisters…
I am writing this article about the beautiful old days with profound gratitude to our former teachers who paved the way and build new sky for our youth, then we live it with peace, love and usefulness. .. We would like to express our deep gratitude and acknowledgement to all Hoàng-Diệu teachers who deserved for a happy and wealthy retirement with full of good teaching memories.
I am now getting older, people just live with the past because the image of homeland and childhood souvenirs embedded first time in memory which do not fade forever!. In my spare time I still think about the old country land with childhood memories, although closing eyes the pictures of childhood memories are still in my sub consciousness ...The songs that I quote for the best about homeland are nostalgic homeland, evening in village, my village, etc. ...the contents are very lyrical and fantasy, simple prompted many memories and pictures of the old village with green bamboo trees, yellow rice paddy fields and images of both a home, a whole childhood. When returning home of Sóc Trăng today, looking around I found only electric poles and interlaced cables but no peaceful village with green bamboo trees anymore. I see tractors in the paddy fields but not any more buffalo. We have to admit that Soc Trang today is more prosperous than the old days. This is a considerable progress but I still regret not to see the ancient Soc Trang. To find back my old childhood days is like finding a needle in the haystack. I noticed today that Soc Trang is less appropriate for me, friendship as well as the landscape. Old friends who were very close before are now met again with a lot of pleasure in appearance, but I still feel there is something strained, difficult to describe how special the words.
Time passes by, I have grown and getting older and understand that I do not have to choose between my native land which is Vietnam and second home of Canada.
I love this country Canada, a rich and wealthy land which provides sweet and fresh tangerines as mentioned in Vietnamese proverb "wealthy land, birds flock», and this place does not bring me anxiety when I share it with my motherland where I was born. I can not compare myself with salmon which must choose between the river and the sea? Spirit of Canada encourages people to contribute to world wellness and make them a better life and I will do so. I will try better in many different ways to bring luck and opportunity that I have received here to people.
I love Vietnam where I was born and I love Canada where I deserve a good life. Sometimes I used my argument to analyze feelings, Vietnam is the sentiment and Canada is gratitude ... Then I have to wonder not so, or vice versa?. Then I laughed and thought I was really contradictory because emotions can not be classified or named.
After 40 years away from home, I came back to my hometown of Soc Trang, my old home situated in Tự-Đức Street and was anxious to see the old images from memories. But alas everything has been changed with time…. A new house was built on the foundation of our old house. No wells and phyllanthus acidus trees (chùm ruột) of the old days anymore... The new owner has built a spacious and luxury house. I went to ask the landlord the permission to visit the new house. My tears started flowing… I became a stranger in this house in which I lived for more than six years of childhood…
Sóc Trăng of my beloved childhood no longer exists today. But Sóc Trăng of two seasons - rainy and sunny is still here, with white Vietnamese tunics of female students still fluttering in front of Hoàng Diệu gate in mid-summer sun is still intense here, the bell ring of pagoda still sounded in the neighborhood and bell from the church is mixed with motorcycle noise in busiest streets still heard from distance ... and I am still here expecting nostalgic memory of the beautiful old days of Sóc Trăng…
Phuc Nguyen
(HD 67-72, Taberd 72-73)
Edited by Nguyễn Tuyết (HD 83-86)
